


i shall be his or not at all

by alainchabat



Category: Black Sails
Genre: (im sorry about that it just Occured), Angst, Gen, Grief, Pre-S1, Self-Harm, hair cutting, i guess they just arrived in Nassau and they recently received the news of thomas' death, theyre sad im sad everyone is sad, this is really short but i needed to let it out apparently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:22:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24512254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alainchabat/pseuds/alainchabat
Summary: i didnt plan for my first black sails fanfic to be a Sad Mess but welp
Relationships: Miranda Barlow/Captain Flint | James McGraw, Miranda Barlow/Captain Flint | James McGraw/Thomas Hamilton
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	i shall be his or not at all

**Author's Note:**

> i didnt plan for my first black sails fanfic to be a Sad Mess but welp

The first time he cut it, she wasn't home. She had left to buy seeds for the garden, already seeking life, already trying to build again, while he crumbled. He took a single look at the mirror, and suddenly couldn't stand what he saw. Couldn't stand the hasardous gaze, the puffy eyes, the redness under them, the chapped skin of his lips. Every freckle on his face like a burden, every wrinkle born out of grief like a deep cut in his flesh.

And the hair.

Tangled, messy. Damp with sweat. Heavy. Cursed. Cursed because _he_ had loved it and _couldn't_ anymore. Cursed because he would never run his fingers through it again, he would never distractedly braid it again, he would never pull on it again as he lost himself in the pleasure James gave him. James wanted to rip it off his skull, to bleed from it, to drown in his own blood, to destroy himself.

When Miranda came home and called for him, only silence answered. And when she entered the bathroom and found him there, sitting on the floor, his hair scattered all over and around him, the scissors in his lap and his hands covered with cuts- coated in blood, she couldn't help the sob that escaped her mouth as she fell to her knees next to him, grabbing his face, trying to find through the tears that blinded them both the man she -and Thomas- loved.


End file.
